Ranking
Gates: I disagree with Larfen about the first punch. It's not horrible, but definitely run of the mill. The little pull with the other hand under uke's armpit detracts from it further. If it were a huge boomhit or just a really powerful punch, whatever the DMs, I'd applaud pulling Uke against your strike without grabbing, but this looks more like a messy hit. The first two strikes flow nicely, but I agree with Larfen here, I doubt that grab was needed, and short as it is, it looks even more useless. I'm a bit torn about the kick you topple Uke with, as on the one hand it's a weak hit, a bit awkwardly behind you to the side and so on, but on the other, I kind of like how Uke falls helplessly. It definitely is the reason why you have to grab Uke's foot a few frames later. Your arms could also be smoother during that transition. The last kicks aren't bad again, just a bit bland. Faster kicks or just a little boom or some other twist would spice it up. The grab is also a factor, you just mostly hold uke still with that hand instead of doing any more advanced manipulation. I like the back and forth motion of the kicks though. There's a horrendous amount of ghosting in your transition to the pose, which looks like your Tori succumbing to painful diarrhea.

hajile: that first hit across Uke's pecs just looks careless. Detracts from the first actual kick, which already has an underwhelming DM pattern. That kind of spin and grabbing Uke's arm should definitely give your more DMs. Just keep aiming that kick, and try to whip the knee just right for as much speed as possible. Your legs are very stiff for a few frames after that kick, with extended glutes, which is an often seen careless position mid-replay. I really like the power you manage to put into the splitkick, enough to justify that flash grab, even. I'd love to say I like the downwards kick to Uke's legs, since it is a "gravity assisted" move and a boom, but it just doesn't work for some reason. Maybe it's the quick speeding up or the stiff arms, or the fact that despite kicking down you have to extend your whole leg, but it doesn't have the power a dropkick should. Probably all of those. Dropkicks and downward punches and the like are really hard to pull off in Toribash. You would've had a nice pose if you froze your left arm at 300-something.

DOUBLE SKEET BETCHES: I wish this were named better, because it's my favourite of these three. Very cool opener, definitely OK with the tap on Uke's chest if that's what you have to do to pull it off. It's a bit late to fix it now, but the self damage on the pecs is a bit careless. There's the tiniest jerk when you reverse chest rotation, too, but hardly noticeable.. I love the punch combo, I'm not sure if I've seen a single other one since my return this year. Even the third one that you turn into a grab is still usable, I think. I would start editing a couple of frames before the second one connects (while you're at it, the only problem I have with that one is that it glances off uke a bit too much. You dm upwards but punch side-to-side. OK, maybe you pull it a bit early and fast as well), ground your front leg and play with the chest joint desperately until you're somehow facing uke a bit more. The good thing about connecting desperate hooks around your Tori is that the next punch is an easy jab with the other hand. You make up for the grab though with a murderous kick, which goes through the shoulder, booms the pec and then connects again to the chest, dismembering it. I used to call these clusterhits... or shatterhits, the other was a synonym for boomhits. Now it's all just booms, which is blander and sounds a childish Americanism. You ground your foot so fast it looks a bit like a kick, which is a small blemish, but I like the gymnastic pose. You're rather stiff aorund this part of the replay though, you don't move your glutes at all, and the last kick is stiff, slow and completely knee-powered. I really wouldn't name this replay after the fact that you bump that weird-shaped bit of uke into his arm lying on the ground by throwing a piece of torso. Now if it were the head and two single joints in the air, we'd be talking.

These turned out really detailed because I haven't had time to play Toribash lately. I've been busy going out with friends (gasp.) and playing other games (up till six playing The Sims 3 which I got a month or so from Humble Origin Bundle). As they are detailed, a lot of the comments made are just my personal preferences. This is the reason why more people should comment more than just the latest replay (take that time out of bumping your thread and maybe even making replays. That would promote a smaller number of higher quality replays that would actually get critiqued). If all you know about a replay before you have to bump the thread with another one, effectively blocking the first replay from critique, is that one person thinks it's messy, there's a whole lot less you can do than if you knew why someone else maybe liked it. That's also why I try to find something positive or at least redeeming in even the worst replays, and something bad or at least room for criticism in the best. Unless the maker is an utter noob who can't keep track of five joints at a time, there's something to keep and something to lose or improve on in every replay.
Last edited by Archlurps; Dec 31, 2013 at 02:09 PM.
I refuse to grab.
-
Like CnC? Most people do. Be a dear and spread the love!
Originally Posted by Archlurps View Post
Gates: I disagree with Larfen about the first punch. It's not horrible, but definitely run of the mill. The little pull with the other hand under uke's armpit detracts from it further. If it were a huge boomhit or just a really powerful punch, whatever the DMs, I'd applaud pulling Uke against your strike without grabbing, but this looks more like a messy hit. The first two strikes flow nicely, but I agree with Larfen here, I doubt that grab was needed, and short as it is, it looks even more useless. I'm a bit torn about the kick you topple Uke with, as on the one hand it's a weak hit, a bit awkwardly behind you to the side and so on, but on the other, I kind of like how Uke falls helplessly. It definitely is the reason why you have to grab Uke's foot a few frames later. Your arms could also be smoother during that transition. The last kicks aren't bad again, just a bit bland. Faster kicks or just a little boom or some other twist would spice it up. The grab is also a factor, you just mostly hold uke still with that hand instead of doing any more advanced manipulation. I like the back and forth motion of the kicks though. There's a horrendous amount of ghosting in your transition to the pose, which looks like your Tori succumbing to painful diarrhea.

hajile: that first hit across Uke's pecs just looks careless. Detracts from the first actual kick, which already has an underwhelming DM pattern. That kind of spin and grabbing Uke's arm should definitely give your more DMs. Just keep aiming that kick, and try to whip the knee just right for as much speed as possible. Your legs are very stiff for a few frames after that kick, with extended glutes, which is an often seen careless position mid-replay. I really like the power you manage to put into the splitkick, enough to justify that flash grab, even. I'd love to say I like the downwards kick to Uke's legs, since it is a "gravity assisted" move and a boom, but it just doesn't work for some reason. Maybe it's the quick speeding up or the stiff arms, or the fact that despite kicking down you have to extend your whole leg, but it doesn't have the power a dropkick should. Probably all of those. Dropkicks and downward punches and the like are really hard to pull off in Toribash. You would've had a nice pose if you froze your left arm at 300-something.

DOUBLE SKEET BETCHES: I wish this were named better, because it's my favourite of these three. Very cool opener, definitely OK with the tap on Uke's chest if that's what you have to do to pull it off. It's a bit late to fix it now, but the self damage on the pecs is a bit careless. There's the tiniest jerk when you reverse chest rotation, too, but hardly noticeable.. I love the punch combo, I'm not sure if I've seen a single other one since my return this year. Even the third one that you turn into a grab is still usable, I think. I would start editing a couple of frames before the second one connects (while you're at it, the only problem I have with that one is that it glances off uke a bit too much. You dm upwards but punch side-to-side. OK, maybe you pull it a bit early and fast as well), ground your front leg and play with the chest joint desperately until you're somehow facing uke a bit more. The good thing about connecting desperate hooks around your Tori is that the next punch is an easy jab with the other hand. You make up for the grab though with a murderous kick, which goes through the shoulder, booms the pec and then connects again to the chest, dismembering it. I used to call these clusterhits... or shatterhits, the other was a synonym for boomhits. Now it's all just booms, which is blander and sounds a childish Americanism. You ground your foot so fast it looks a bit like a kick, which is a small blemish, but I like the gymnastic pose. You're rather stiff aorund this part of the replay though, you don't move your glutes at all, and the last kick is stiff, slow and completely knee-powered. I really wouldn't name this replay after the fact that you bump that weird-shaped bit of uke into his arm lying on the ground by throwing a piece of torso. Now if it were the head and two single joints in the air, we'd be talking.

These turned out really detailed because I haven't had time to play Toribash lately. I've been busy going out with friends (gasp.) and playing other games (up till six playing The Sims 3 which I got a month or so from Humble Origin Bundle). As they are detailed, a lot of the comments made are just my personal preferences. This is the reason why more people should comment more than just the latest replay (take that time out of bumping your thread and maybe even making replays. That would promote a smaller number of higher quality replays that would actually get critiqued). If all you know about a replay before you have to bump the thread with another one, effectively blocking the first replay from critique, is that one person thinks it's messy, there's a whole lot less you can do than if you knew why someone else maybe liked it. That's also why I try to find something positive or at least redeeming in even the worst replays, and something bad or at least room for criticism in the best. Unless the maker is an utter noob who can't keep track of five joints at a time, there's something to keep and something to lose or improve on in every replay.

WALL OF TEXT. NOOOOOOOOO
oh well, had a fun read. Thanks so much for putting time and effort to your criticism. I am very thankful. Pm me the link to your replay thread and I will criticise it myself. Thank you so much.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this
Bump.

First time tricking. Attempting to get a cork at last jump.
Attached Files
!Nagato - S - Standards.rpl (79.1 KB, 17 views)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this
Bump

Someone cnc me. PLEASE!!!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this
So stupid, I was writing a comment on some of your replays but in the middle of it toribash.com crashed on me.
The only thing I remember from it is the Hajile replay. Since I am bored I will just point out a few flaws I saw:
The opener was a little stiff at the very beginning
After the first kick you led in your leg which looked kinda awkward
The way you got into pose was too sharp

Thats pretty much it. Sorry
golf
The first backflip was alright, those extended ankles look out of place though. Use your arms more instead of your ankles for momentum.
The second backflip was completely off center, it pretty much looked like the perfect chance to try and do a different trick there.
The last trick was weird, it doesn't look like anything I know. Would have done something different if it were me.
oh yeah
Originally Posted by AssassinPro View Post
So stupid, I was writing a comment on some of your replays but in the middle of it toribash.com crashed on me.
The only thing I remember from it is the Hajile replay. Since I am bored I will just point out a few flaws I saw:
The opener was a little stiff at the very beginning
After the first kick you led in your leg which looked kinda awkward
The way you got into pose was too sharp

Thats pretty much it. Sorry

That's ok. Thanks

Originally Posted by pusga
The first backflip was alright, those extended ankles look out of place though. Use your arms more instead of your ankles for momentum.
The second backflip was completely off center, it pretty much looked like the perfect chance to try and do a different trick there.
The last trick was weird, it doesn't look like anything I know. Would have done something different if it were me.

That was supposed to be a cork then I realised it wasn't that's why I'm trying to get it right now. Thanks pusga
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this
I don't CnC a lot of tricking, but what I can say about Standards is that it looks very smooth for the most part. I agree with pusga about the ankles. Actually you're even a bit stiff untill you push back against the ground with your legs, and your movement is painfully symmetrical until that point. Once you get off the ground, the symmetry doesn't matter since your movement is very natural, and besides, you break the symmetry early on. The extended glutes a bit before the last landing look slightly weird, but I didn't even notice it the first time I watched.
I refuse to grab.
-
Like CnC? Most people do. Be a dear and spread the love!
Okay, bump.
New replay:
I'll edit after the split; still trying to get that shoryuken :o
just wanted my movement to be criticised.
Attached Files
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this
Bump. Pls guys
-----
Bump
For fracks sake. Gimme criticism
Last edited by Nagato; Jan 12, 2014 at 06:22 PM. Reason: <24 hour edit/bump
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this