Wat? If statements? you dont need any if statements. there are 2 invisible balls placed ofset below and above the pole. The up one is puled up, and the bottom is pulled down. (using force). in the very begining, since they are offset, the pole rotates a bit, so the players will lean forward.
o..........
............
............
....!0.....
............
............
...........o
where the "o" is the ball, the "0" is the pole (looking from the side so it seems like its just a dot), and the "!" is uke.
if the higher one is constatantly being pulled up, and the other constatnly being pulled down, it provides the pole (and you when you are holding on to it) some help balancing. The pole will allways want to be parrallel to the ground, and it does not want to rotate on the x axis (basicly, it does not like to stay in a position where you, for example, pull the pole over your head and it is turned 90 degrees). Also, to make it easier, i also put a little bit of forward force on the pole.
did that answer your question?