These aren't jokes. They're facts.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he needs is the element of surprise.
There is no evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at KFC, and he got one.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris doesn't play God. Playing is for children.
Chuck Norris' hand can beat a Royal Flush.
If at first you don't succeed, you aren't Chuck Norris.
Sticks and stone may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris stare can liquefy your kidneys.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to stop his heartburn.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.