Chuck Norris built the log cabin that he was built in with nothing but his hands

When you come home and Chuck Norris is sleeping with your wife/girlfriend, it's best to just go get him a glass of water.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He doesn't need ammo to hunt. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

These aren't jokes. They're facts.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he needs is the element of surprise.

There is no evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at KFC, and he got one.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris doesn't play God. Playing is for children.

Chuck Norris' hand can beat a Royal Flush.

If at first you don't succeed, you aren't Chuck Norris.

Sticks and stone may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris stare can liquefy your kidneys.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to stop his heartburn.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When chuck norris jumps in a lake, he doesnt get wet. the lake gets chuck norris.

Chuck norris can make a girl climax by pointing at her and saying "boo-ya"

Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight. Not becuase he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

chuck norris can kick you even if your infront of a wall
Chuck norris can divide by 0
An iceberg didnt bring down the titanic...it was the frozen dead pile of ninjas sent, out to kill him, back to the arctic.
The book of world records states in white at the back or each book,that all records belong the chuck norris.It just states the things or people that come close

Why would being in front of a wall stop anyone from kicking you?

If Chuck falls in water, Chuck doesn't get wet. Wet gets Chuck. (Better told by me than Gubbin) xD

because you might move and then the person would kick the wall.


i guess.