i bought a different colored relax, so how do i get my guy to have the color? is there somewhere i go to change it, or does it happen automaticly?

http://forums.toribash.com/tori_inventory.php

GO there and activate it.

Follow the link that evolution6 gave you. You will see your inventory (deactivated items). Basically, you need to activate them. Once you activate them, they will be sent to your activated items. Make sure you don't activate many relaxes/forces/whatever at the same time. If you want to deactivate your items, simply go to your activated items page and click on "deactivate item".

If you don't see instantly your Tori with the new colors, type /dl sparky105 and/or go in Multiplayer. It should be automatic.