I recently bought a sec ecto grad, but I cant wear it. It is in my activated, but it my character has not updated and my tori still has my orc grad It has been 2 days. Yes my orc grad is gone and deactivated and already sold.

Check in your deactive, It isn't activated. Also if that doesn't work /dl Dude1226 or /lp 0 Dude1226.
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^ That is where I see the gradient

MY grad is sold on the market.

i see your ecto gradient in your deactivated.
activate it and restart toribash, should fix the problem.
otherwise wasnt it /dl username that can fix problems like this? ( not to sure on that part though )

Oh I forgot I just removed it. Now I activated it. Before I could not see it

I see you have a Aurora Secondary Gradient on the market.
If you updated the price onto the market while the item is still activated then it will remain activated until it is sold on the market.
To fix the problem,
-Remove the item from the market
-Deactivate the item
-Put the item back on the market if you please,
-Then activated the ecto Secondary Gradient and it should Show up on your character

~This is the only reason I can think of, To make your new gradient stop working If it don't work I apologize for the waste of time hehe