The shader option won't turn on for some reason. Anyone know why?

Maybe your graphic card doesn't support the shaders.
Try to update it, and if it still doesn't work, put the dxdiag log (run > dxdiag) here.

How do I update it? (computer noob)

Well, depends of what your graphic card is.

If it's an Ati, then get on that website : http://www.ati.com

Find out your graphics card (run > type "dxdiag" > click ok > click the display tab > type out what comes after "Name:")
then we'll see if your card can handle them.

And..how do I check that. (DirectX Dia is up)

Oh. it's Intel(R) 82915G/GV/910GL Express Chipset family

I'm 99% certain that wont run shaders

I'm 100% sure it wont, sorry bud.

that's what I have.

It won't

No drivers updates to help either.

believe me. I tried.

Hard.