Toribash
Original Post
[Poem]Tori Community
A poem I made regarding the community from my experience :P.

It's not that good of a poem,but I worked Hard :P


Toribash Community

For I am a newcomer
Nor a hero,or star.
To tell you the truth
I found this game hard.

I thought that I truly
understood physics.
Velocity,momentum,(Yeah,I think you get it)


But I sha'll not quit,
no matter how hard.
Because my dream is
to be a tori-star.

I will practice and practice,
maybe practice some more.
I will keep on practicing
until my fingers are sore.

Then when I am ready,
i'll fight for my dream.
No matter how complicating
it may seem.

I will enter events,
bets and tourney's.
Fight to my heart's content
Finishing thoroughly.

Ill hear a few cheers,
Smiling brightly.
But then I will see,
something unsightly.

I'll see a few messages,
Incredibly rude chat.
Ones that say "Noob luck",
or "You f*cking Fatass!".

I'll feel slightly down,
Maybe frustrated.
I didn't know,
That I would get hated.

I then see a light,
the heavenly gate.
The words from a pro,
"Dude.Hater's Gunna hate :]".

I then flashed a smile,
Feeling a lot better.
I know for a fact,
My opponent was a bed wetter.

So I then took a bow,
Still not very far.
But I still knew...
I'd be a Toribash Star.

~Tamakuu
Last edited by Marrez; Aug 25, 2011 at 08:07 PM.
beware
the goblin
I really tried hard to think about some C&C that would be smart and constructive, but whenever I read your poem I see this:

That I had a few laughs throughout the poem, nothing profound. But you described the ''Never-ending story'' of ppl that play TB quite accurate. A Bit naive, but ok...
We don't see much poems here and some of us (read: me), are not a poetic souls, so... Wait a better judgement. :]

I will practice and practice,
maybe practice some more.
I will keep on practicing
until my fingers are sore.

This sounded as a part from some 80es ballade. I can see Foreigner performing it. :}
Pretty good, I really like it, especially the rhymes. I think you did a good job, not sure what to criticise, it's really good.
Tint is sex.
Thank you :].I'm still a rookie at writing sadly :P.Coming up with a story soon,but don't know what to add in it.
beware
the goblin
Oo, I love reading good stories.
Wha'ts it about? Maybe I can provide you with a few ideas. (although I'm not creative whatsoever.)
Tint is sex.
Still deciding on that.I like starting stories about someone who doesn't really have much and then gets their dream.(So,Just like in the poem,Someone who just got the game,then rises to stardom.Except it'll be more realistic.)
beware
the goblin
Hey, I remember seeing you in that Akido tourney earlier today! I didn't know you wrote poetry! ^_^
I liked it, it was amusing and pretty accurate. Needs more butthurt players, though.
Last edited by KenStarr; Aug 27, 2011 at 03:35 AM.