Hey guys, new to Toribash. I installed it on my computer and installed it on my friend's laptop so that we could play online, except one problem. When i host the game, or when he hosts the game we can't see each others game however we both see all the same games when we just go to join a multiplayer server. How can I host a game so that both my friend and I can see and join ones server?

Well, you can

/join [server name]

and without the brackets. If all of you do this, you will be put in the same server.

Basically what Zinx mean said is that you will create your own private room. It will become visible on the long list of rooms that you can join.
Or from single player just use the /join that Zinx explained.