Good day fellow citizens.

I created this thread to tell you that I'm your god now.

I've been practicing the psychic powers I was born with. Normally people don't get born with abilities, they train them and master them. Now I'm mastering my skills. And I'm soon getting my own apartment hopefully. Which means that I will get a lot more space to practice levitation and pyrokinetic. I will also train reading auras, I've been born with something that makes me feel auras, but I've never seen one, until I started practicing seeing them. It was a glorious sight. First everything around you start bending and deforming then you notice that your skin, and the skin only, nothing else around you, not even clothing, changes color and glow.

I might be the next religion. I might be your next god. Now follow me children, I wish to keep you safe from this insane world. Once I've mastered my powers, I could probably take over a small country using only the power of my mind. Soaring through the skies.

I've had visions for my whole life telling me what will happen and to not make me worry unnecessary. I am going to rule this earth. The only one who can stop me now is other persons born with the abilities, or persons who have been training for many years.

My visions are never wrong. 84% of all humanity on earth will die in the next decade. If I where you, I'd start building my personal bunker, or get laid as much as possible. The chance of you dying is quite high.

Discuss.

A 24% chance of survival? I like the odds.
But congratulations... Like the Mayans, Nostradomus, and many others, you've successfully predicted the end of the world in 2012. Now pick a number, and take a seat. We don't believe them either.

get laid as much as possible
thats the only part i can agreewith,

now one more question

WTF IS THIS THREAD.....

Well, my abillities have just arose and I need much training, but may I join you in conquest?

Take your goddamn jesus powers somewhere else.

Your powers will never reach their full potential because there will always be somebody to surpass them. Usually this somebody is unknown and it's power is unknown aswell. If you meet him, you'll notice that something is different with that person but you will not be able to realize what is it that you feel at that moment.
Then you will realize that you are powerless against him although you won't lose hope just yet, you will fight until the end.

At the end tho you will learn that all this was a useless struggle against reality.