The camerawork is much better than in your previous vids, but you might want to make some of the zooms less, instant sort of. Zoom in slower not that fast.
Also, don't overuse the shake camera. Use it just a few times, or even once in a video.
And definitely, most definitely change the song. You won't make any sync with it. Even if you use an overused song, that won't matter if you make a good video.
So if you work on the above, I think you can make a nice video.