you seem pretty new to replay making but dude thats a really good replay (for a beginner)
so here are some cnc
1. try to NOT making your moves look pretty random
2. dont get yourself dismembered caz that doesnt look cool
3. dont use alot of grabs (you can get 3-5 dms in one grab)
4. thats so relaxed ...... to make a good replay you should be in between relaxed and holded so you make it look kinda realistic and also make it look alot cooler
these four things if u fix them you will be pro at replay making